Sometimes I can be a perfectionist, to a point beyond procrastination.  Optimum performance is attained when I am busy enough to require a wise use of time. However, when the point is tipped and more is taken on than humanly possible- through putting everything possible on a ‘to do’ list ‘now’ or due to outside sources-  I all but collapse in despair. To not be perfect.  To not get it all done. To not have life going my way.  I cringe at accepting sub-par.  To do the best job, is that too much to ask?  It is when the cost is spending so much time on one project that the starting of the next equally paramount endeavor is sacrificed.

One friend posts a blog nearly every day- I don’t know how he does it.  I struggle to get one out a week: second guess word choices, scrutinize sentence structure, “no more than six” to each paragraph, squander time on what to write about.  As if it will be the cure to cancer, save all the starving children, rid the world of landfills, AND create free teleportation for all!  This little blog is something I do; it makes me feel better.  I have created something here.  Hopefully it has direction, thankfully someone reads it.  Truly, as soon as I have combed one over satisfactorily and published- I have Peace and Joy and Happiness smiling through me like the brightest Light bulb.

I will not even begin about the last one; it’s in the past, I posted it, and there it remains.  At the moment I typed those words of discontent- a fellow artist commented on said post.  Amazing, when we choose to acknowledge (fore it is always there), how the Universe delivers exactly what is needed at the precise moment it is deemed quite appropriate. Feeling such gratitude is worth bottling to sprinkle on myself and strangers to remind us, you and me, we ARE safe.  I shan’t stop, nor shall I wait for a green light- there are no cops in my head.  I shall remain determined, to merge at light-speed, as an experienced grown-up and appreciate the power.

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