Archives for the month of: February, 2013
"Sex In the City" Prequel

“Sex In the City” Prequel

Being a “perfectionist” is a nice way of spinning a fear of letting go.  We all want things to be the best they can; all share a certain amount of control issues, whether claiming responsibility or shirking away, ultimately it is utter illusion.  When it comes down to doing something or not doing it, a fear of failing can create a fear of beginning.  An extremely knowledgable and generous company, BBR Productions, holds a FREE writing class locally on Long Island every Wednesday night.  Various “characters” attend- writers, actors, directors, girlfriends, introverts, extroverts, comedians – and most share, all become inspired to tackle walls and get the vision unique to each individual voice down on paper (or typed on a computer screen).  “Write everyday.”- That’s the class motto.

Writing, and beyond question some of you will concur, has always been clarifying and therapeutic.  Allowing another to read intimate thoughts drafted from one’s depths is terrifying.  Will they get it/How will they respond/Is it good?  Sharing truth is always good.  Waiting for ‘perfection’ is a mere excuse.  “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”- Hamlet would know, the whole play is basically him thinking out-loud.

Always, we will prove ourselves right – I’m fat/too short/old – stop thinking, and judging your worth (except in the event you are deciding kindly on your true deep value) : you are worthy because you are here.  Each choice we have made have made us– and anyone in our exact life situation with all our exact life experiences would choose the exact way we have.  Judgement of ourselves and fear of judgement from others, ingrained and reinforced since childhood, simply is simple, and silly.  We evolve, judgement and fear served us for a time and place of protection in infancy, however the moment to Let Go of naive trepidation is now.  We are grown, life has tested us and made us strong, and we continue to gain fortitude.  On that note, I am off for an hour of Yoga- my personal medicine to accept myself and others openly and with gratitude for their grace (and lack-there-of).  Foster Peace.

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A personal business manager wisely advised: “treat my life like a business”, “be professional”, and incorporate.  Having created Katrina Perkins, Inc., I now possess an EIN, business bank accounts, and a credit card.  Although I am good at keeping receipts and doing my own taxes when that most favorite time of year besets itself upon us, when I get to filling in milage- truth be told- it has always been something of a “guesstimate”.  This year is always an opportunity to do better, be more professional.  Starting off sorta-well-ish, I drafted a simple log sheet to make it easy on myself, which consisted of : DATE, WHERE, MILES – each with a column running the page length.

I started the month doing great, keeping track by writing down each lovely day and where it took me.  Then on Monday 04 February – I got busy- too busy to keep up the milage journal.  Luckily, I am a neurotic for calendar notations, and those wonderful receipts, both of which helped me to recreate the last week on the sheet.  Oops, I forgot one trip to the gym.  There was room in the margin for a addendum next to the date, thankfully.

The point here is: I made this recording space- a no-brainer to fill out, and realized- guess what, I drive someplace for the Incorporation (at least one place) just about everyday, unless of course…. there is a FORCE OF NATURE, like say, a blizzard.  Even then, I go to the grocery and gas early to stock up, and after, there are errands needing to be caught up.  Just now, I clipped the register to the fridge so as to see it daily and continue the good work.  

TANGENT: on the Stick Skillstopic of driving, I was recently paid to drive a Porsche.  Yes that’s right, I had a day at work where the forces that be found it fair to reward me for learning to drive on, and having as a daily driver, a stick-shift.  The episode is one where the girl has just gotten her driver’s license and because I am petite (photo-double) and experienced enough to make a manual lurch: I was booked.

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