A few days ago, the funk got me.  Though it only lasted the span of a day or so,IMG_0685 I felt it creeping in for several days leading up. Consciously suspecting some of the triggers collaboratively pushing me closer to the precipice, the ultimate tipping point came, naturally, from one I feel safest and most vulnerable toward.  However, I forget myself, back to the beginning… I believe it began with a reflection on my past arising from an opportunity working on a pilot called “The Tomorrow People” (an already successful UK production trying it’s faire in the US) involving an acting teacher I mentioned, coincidentally, in only my last post- Mark Pellegrino.

At first I was incredibly excited to see him, in New York, having taken classes with him in Los Angeles for over two years, because his working in the Business was always inspiring.  The Networking opportunities seemed lucid and a Casting Director, new to me, was now on my radar with which to create a connection.  Only hours later did the thought occur to me, perhaps he doesn’t remember me, it was over ten years ago.  Alas, it did not make a difference- of the scenes being shot he was included in only one- the first one, taking place outside on a cold, windy day by the water, where I was placed walking across the street.  Whether Mr. Pellegrino would have remembered me is a moot point, because the truth is I never got close enough to say “Hello, again”.

And yet, for not less than a handful of other men on-set that night Katrina Perkins was a definite stand-out.  Please understand, as a teenager this duck was less comely, and these days I conduct myself with utmost professionalism- though this is not what makes me memorable.  In this business, assets are what you work with, and managing liabilities, namely sex-appeal in a male dominated field is (albeit absurd?) a current challenge I strive to circumvent. Supposing this was the catalyst to commence demoralization, I appreciate and am interested in a good conversation, even more-so when it lacks the obvious ulterior motive.  Am I too naive?

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