I am that woman who holds onto a bottle of-who-knows-how-many-too-many-years-old clear nail polish top coat, because the bottle is still more than half full.  Worry nevermore over a cost (though be it well deserved, much needed, self-pampering time) of more Self-manicures, an easy removal from the list of worry.  It comes down to time.  Many matters do.  At the end of the year I find myself more motivated to take my time (does that even make the slightest sense?), and accomplish, somehow, even more.  Focused.  Busy year, quite full of thanks.  List making (aside from the mental ones to keep track of worrying) is a brilliant start to a day.  Consistency creates ease.  Dirty, dirty… chaos, must naturally create the opposite, dis-ease.  And then, and then, and then, another year begins. Perhaps I continue to persevere the day after day of working this Business of Show. And perhaps I overcome having postcards addressed to huge casting director stamped:

RETURN TO SENDER

NOT DELIVERABLE AS ADDRESSED

UNABLE TO FORWARD

Boo!  How does one circumnavigate this hurdle into getting in front of someone in this casting director’s office. Sometimes I feel so nervous auditioning. I get in my own way. Recently I had an experience where I realize this is one of my grandest hurdle. Anxiety. How has this happened to me? I may be the best in the class, but without being in class to work out, I feel less confident going into an audition. I think I just struck on to something. Ok. So classes? Paying for classes is not something for which I am budgeted. No yoga classes. No dance classes.  no stunt training.  no jujitsu.  No acting classes.  But, “I just struck on to something”, and classes certainly eased this anxiety that I suddenly find bear hugging me. What is a woman to do? Part time job for classes? Then how much time am I committing to instead of time spend to grow this incorporation?  To attend classes, at least two days each week. Leaving only five days each week to hope for multiple days to work as an extra, oh grand aspirations one hopes to achieve!  AKA a form of Networking, that happens to pay a little.  Ok. Where there is a will there is a way.  Where? Let us move on to that question perhaps now and we’ll tackle the other one next. Lively New year; the time is now 7:24 in the East Coast USAIMG_0112

 

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