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treein this time of quarantine, i find myself doing an activity i always longed to do more: hiking, usually once each glorious week.  yesterday, on a particularly steep three hour climb, it occurred to me how like-life hiking can be.  there are trail markers, and as long as you keep one in sight, and head for it, you will make it to the top, and back to your car.  life may not be so obvious as a red/blue/green/yellow /white trail marker nailed into successive trees supporting your progress, but we can attune our senses to becoming aware of the “markers” life offers (some more obvious than others, but always available, if time is taken to look carefully).trail“does this hurt?”  is an indication you have allowed the trail to get away from you.  that suddenly too thick brush and brambles now tearing up your legs: you are no longer taking the path that will get you to, that was made towards, your intended destination.  when life feels good, you are literally going in the right direction.  this nearly immediate feed-back loop (organic pun in this context) is wise to heed, and even lean into, to borrow a phrase 😉

benttreethis does nothing to say “if it ain’t easy you are doing something wrong”.  working towards goals, ambitions, mountain tops can challenge muscle, create needs for tools, and ultimately strengthen, in experience and know-how, how-to fine tune our Vision to see that red trail marker between the other trees in the distance.  being outside (in a safe manner) nourishes our body with vitamin D production, with fresh air (one of the penultimate necessities ironically emphasized literally restricting breath), with a focus toward a destination, with compassion to the nature and life outside ourself. i admire and appreciate the freedom of the birds outside, first outside my windows, where i sit typing now, and also in anticipation out in the middle of trees, bent but growing, water flowing with gravity towards its destination, the woodpecker at work.

brookthere is something, deep in each of us, we have need of this Time in-order-to shine Light on a nourishment.  the essential workers, the people who are still able to work in this adjunctated (poetic license) life from home when never before, the family of those struggling and dying, we- have more Living to Do.  Acting, is Doing, Living is Doing, hiking is active, all- when invested in Doing will lead to a summit worth pursuing.  

what action is it you will Do more of When … map

how about wisconsin for a lack of change?  still holding primaries this week in the middle of what is NOT simply another year of “the flu”.  maybe that is a sign of how scared the political machine [which i can tell you does NOT represent me or likely you] is of change.  machines run the program.  our compliance, take our money and stay in our homes and forget about any change in this broken machine, inhuman, unhelpful, unkind, impersonal, big business (another machine) killing the little being.

now is a time for people to come together in a bigger way.  NOT physically; energetically.  we need more energy to do the things we all are appreciating how much FREEDOM we under appreciated and took for granted: gathering physically, stopping at the grocery store for that “one thing we came in for”, taking kids to a playground, or having kids over to play in our backyard.  how has our backyard somehow even become a little less Ours?  

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17 March 2020 ophthalmic tech/scribe NY

because right now we have a responsibility for our community, the people we know and those we have never seen.  the 82-year-old who’s grandchild does not yet grasp that hanging out leaning on your friend’s car at the beach could kill grandma.  this has never happened to us in our lifetime; we are capable of learning from history.  we are intelligent.  

i don’t know the number of people who want another president in the United States; i don’t know the number of countries that want more of the same for US.  I know i want more, more of what is Good.  we all know Good, in our guts.  it is not a question, it is undeniable, it is Known, and it is the same for all of Us.  

10-4 in 2020! 🙂

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The past two years have proven … full of Love/excitement (some scary, some fun)/exhausting/infinitely hopeful.

Auditions have increased, and I have joined the stage union Actors Equity.  004-20Originally, I had solely focused on television and film, but acting in the British farce ‘Miranda’ as Lady Claire Martin, and a friend who worked on Broadway, brought me to the the realization that limiting myself to these two filmed mediums only was cutting out a whole opportunity to act.  The goal is : to act, to sustain myself financially through acting.  Stage acting can be lucrative, and certainly fulfilling, the characters robust and standing the test of Time, satisfying beyond being a background extra.

Limiting ourselves; placing restrictions on our Life’s satisfaction, ugh.  We, each of us, are deserving of happiness.  Whether we restrain possibilities of Love in a miserable relationship where we make too many unreasonable compromises to the benefit of another who consistently takes from us our energy, or in a job that depletes our creativity and passion in order to pay the bills.  Paying the bills is important.  Currently I am investing in my financial freedom by reading a digestible book called ‘InvestED’ by Danielle Town.  The stress of financial worry can wreck havoc on our health, and while I am reading a great deal more, in part thanks to a wonderful man in my life who also enjoys the delights and benefits of the exercise, if feels empowering to grow this knowledge.

Another area I have been in pursuit of more devotion: My own health.  Specifically, more dependable Yoga and Meditation practices.  Usually, I suppose, I have discovered, I can have a tendency to be an “all or nothing” mentality, a perfectionist unhappiness that accomplishes zero when five Sun Salutations or five meditative minutes is, in fact, better than none.  The Peace washes me of displeasure, fault-finding and “not enoughtist” mentality, leaving me happier, healthier, and good enough.

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For months KatrinaPerkins52016I have been typing, recording (audio notes usually when GENIUS strikes while driving, or there is no way I could take enough notes to communicate), and jotting down “Musings”.  I have amassed three or four documents consisting of several single-spaced pages each, and numerous audio files patiently waiting to be converted.  Inspired this week by a comedian out networking with a comrade visiting and performing from LA- these separate drafts were combined into one and I began organizing the amalgamated material thus far committed to pages.

My ‘To Do’ list has: ‘TRANSCRIBE’ [Oi tedious: play, type, rewind, listen, type, repeat] and ‘MEMORIZE COMEDY SET’, diligently scrawled on it, reminding me to create progress in this arena. With a printout of the combined pages, I am now slowly editing, one page at a time, and it is proving quite fun. The other day, this activity was my sole occupation while standing on a train to an audition. Reading over the first page only, jotting notes [action/additions/direction] in the margin, crossing out stuff that no longer felt good, drawing arrows to move a chunk to another spot easily transitioning or even directly related, and then re-reading the edits finding a few more changes and that ones already in place felt right. Today, I relayed those changes into the new whole-draft; I’m getting excited to practice, to time this first page … and hear, myself, how it flows.

A year or so ago, someone told me I reminded them of Amy Schumer.  I had absolutely no clue to whom they were referring. Looking her up, I inferred they were calling me fat. A rude assessment, I know, but the truth of the moment was, in hindsight, I think they were saying I was funny (and perhaps that I resemble her slightly). In the time since, many people, time after time, on-set and elsewhere have asked me if I am a comedian. I don’t know if it is the Universe urging me to Focus, helping, hinting over and over again, that this voice of mine is worth sharing, because, after all, #LaughterIsTheCure 
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http://www.PerksOfNature.com  check out my IMDb page, too!

This week I went to Two casting director events.  A panel of four outstanding women in entertainment and a Master Class at the Tribeca Film Festival; so much learning.  It was getting to know each one a little.  I like them, and they will like me too, when we meet one one one.  Time, patience, persistence, more patience, and research- research is where each of these opportunities began.  

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What a busy little warming up and getting out of the home (finally) the month of April has turned out to be.  Last year was my first, treading water in Brooklyn.  This year the training wheels are off, a year to learn the ropes, when I could have prepared and researched ahead of time- hind sight … I must be Living, because I am definitely Learning.  The first event, Wednesday past, was discovered researching a respected casting director.  She has twitter, who knew, and so does her assistant!  Who knew times Two!!  Oh hey, and good timing, because she happens to be on a panel: Women Entertaining Change, Professional Women & Entertainment, Media & Communications.

Without hesitation, a ticket was procured to this brilliant opportunity. The fellow attendees, specifically, the five other women sitting at the table with me (it was almost entirely women in attendance) were making moves for them selves- producer (Carmelle Denneman of Georgia Peach Productions), writer, attorney, actress- which also serves to inspire others: certainly me.  Then guess what, aforementioned research snowballed into Tribeca, Directors series class with Jodi Foster!  Sold out.  But then   …   …   a FREE Master Class with Casting Director Ellen Lewis and Ellen Chenoweth moderated by Bernard Telsey !!!  Tribeca how I love thee.  

I have the perfect question.  Now, too late, so Polish, flub-darn-it. This CD happens to be attached to a movie (temporarily on-hold) with Meryl Streep based on Terrence McNally’s 1995 Broadway play, coincidentally, titled Master Class.  Preparation, and marination, and time.  Too busy to set aside time to formulate a quality question; Wah.  Lesson learned: Imagination, day dreams, brainstorming, and most specifically: time set aside with the goal of achieving and cultivating cleverly crafted questions … these are the strength training equipment of the successful business.

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Source: Breakfast With Katrina

Inspiration. I am posting this for myself to re-read tomorrow morning 🙂 [with tea! Cheers!]

Thomas J Bellezza• “Busy Bee”

They call me the “YES” man. Just keep swimming! This is a motto I learned from a fish. Always stay in motion, like a shark does to keep on breathing. For me, working in entertainment is a constant fight forward finding/creating the next job. Growing up in entertainment “NO” was a normal answer. To get that mysterious “YES” a change in my life had to be made. No longer was I waiting for others to “Help” me to succeed. I ran from the idea of relying on a Record Label, Agent, Manager, etc to give me a chance to prove myself. It was my job to prove myself and no one else.

In life, it is about proving your worth on your own. Rise to the top until you cannot go any further. The secret is to run your life like a business. You want to be…

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Katrina Perkins‘Wordpress Wednesdays’: clearly, a mere brief success, a couple o’cameos at best. [From this I shall learn, change, try an alternative.] Despite having Tuesdays “off”, normally (aside from taking the 90 pound pup to the vet for chiropractic and cold laser treatments, and cleaning laundry, etc.) – quite naturally, I then, Thankfully, proceeded to have the BUSIEST March [bleeding into April [truly it was more average actually of the on-set variety, and I logged more days in the MD’s office than ever before] on record. The documented history of Katrina Perkins, actress: since beginning this acting journey by taking the chance and creating the full-time availability required to say “YES!” every time Casting calls, texts, or emails. Wait for it . . .THREE TIMES AS BUSY, I was IN FACT!

Again, Grateful, so full of Gratitude, well, it is my pleasure to say I am still smiling, and only just recently recovered (ever so slightly) from the exhausting lack of sleep from repetitive 3 a.m. alarms to report to set by 5:30 in the morning. I chose this… And I keep choosing it. AND I hope to be even twice as busy as all that in March 2016!  Which might just happen (here’s hoping, hoping, hoping, fingers crossed, and touch wood) if, neigh, WHEN a certain Jimmy Fallon produced television pilot is picked up for a whole season by NBC.

‘May BE Mondays’ will prove sustainable if I listen to the results (or lack there of) and respond, just as in the best and most authentic acting, and real life.  “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  Simple Brilliance of Einstein! It is indeed time for a change!  Write it during the week; type it up, add a photo, and schedule the post to be published on the weekend. That is an idea, anyway. I am stronger than this; I can be as consistent with WordPress as I am with showing up early to pursue the passion that is being on-set and creating entertainment!!

P.S.  I wrote this about two, almost three, weeks ago… May may IT BE the month of Mondays manuscripts 🙂

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mmm warmth and smiles!

Thomas J Bellezza
• Head up, looking outward

This morning I was awoken by my puppy, again. This nine month old Rottweiler is an alarm all himself. Every morning 6:30 AM; or Pee-O’clock to him. It means; feed him, take him out for bathroom time and then on a walk if he so demands it. He demanded it. I was very tired at this point and kind of wobbled along with him with my head down at the ground. Tired on more than one front. Emotionally, stressed, business, and life in general. That’s true for a lot of people. We get warn down. And I am a workaholic, so stopping to breathe is difficult. But I kept my head down, between the cold, and the lack of care to look up.

At one point I decided to look up, stretch my back, and stand tall. Why lean over with this feeling!? What I…

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The real judgement free zone: working in a field you Enjoy, regardless of “quality”. Progress is proof of quality. Where were you last year; closer, more often to where you truly want to be next year? Or doing the same old unhappy rut, wishing for more. Do!!

Thomas J. Bellezza
• A Bit Part

“But you were background.” Yeah, it was a bit of a bit part. And you know what? That’s the point. I was doing one more thing greater than a person who wished they could be in this business. Being an entertainer is bit part after bit part. Because we are never truly satisfied with just enough. Anyone action is more than zero effort with working background on a TV show, movie, playing guitar on a small stage in front of ten people, or even telling jokes to less than a few laughing future fans. These are all successful moments in an entertainer’s life. Doing what they love, and living within the field of their interest. A bit part, but a big part forward. But what is the point of doing little things?

Starting at the bottom is an accomplishment greater than never starting at all. All…

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